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1) Don't hang around with cows - They're a target and you will be too.
2) Speak fluent french - Out of all known reports, not one person from France has been abducted.
3) Avoid open spaces - UFO spaceships need a lot of space for landing. If possible, try to avoid the outdoors at all costs.
4) Don't be scared - Aliens feed of fear and weakness.
5) Get a degree - Aliens are known not to appear as often to those with any form of higher qualification.
6) Don't live in the countryside - A house in the countryside may seem an ideal place to live but not when you're being tortured by aliens.
8) Never go to abduction seminars - The aliens found these people once, who's to say they won't find them again.
9) Don't drive in secluded areas - Abduction stories almost always begin in these sorts of areas, especially at night.
10) Drink lots of caffeine - Most reports show people are asleep during their abduction. Stay awake and be attentive.
11) Become one of them - Learn their ways and blend with their community. You won't be abducted if you're one of them, right?
12) Board all windows and doors - It may not completely prevent aliens from entering your home but it will help.
13) Avoid visiting crop circles - Are you stupid? Crop circles = aliens, you = abducted.
14) Spend your time with UFO skeptics - The opposite to Rule No.8, UFO skeptics have never been in contact with aliens. You're safe with them.
15) Provide them with more interesting research materials - Find something which you believe aliens will find more interesting. Give the choice, they'll choose this instead.
16) Sleep with a torch by your side - Aliens have the power to switch off all mains electricity.
17) Avoid places where alcohol is consumed - Research shows those who are heavily intoxicated are more susceptible to alien abductions.
18) Befriend an alien - Re-create the iconic scene from E.T; befriend an alien, put him in your bike basket and fly infront of the moon.
19) Think happy thoughts - Aliens are able to abduct you by communicating with you telepathically but this prevents them.
20) Get a government job - Higher authorities know more than us; work your way up and find out the truth.
21) Exercise more often - Because if all else fails, you could always outrun them.
22) Don't follow the light - Aliens will try and lure you out of your house using a flashing light. Ignore this and keep focused.
23) Avoid the cliches - They've heard them all before, just don't bother.
24) Lay off the takeaways - A bigger person is a bigger target.
25) Wear an aluminium hat - Another way to prevent aliens from communicating with you telepathically is to wear a hat lined with aluminium. (Don't worry we have provided you with one in this kit/Use foil to reduce costs.)
26) Never go into a deep sleep - Most alien abductions occur when the victim is asleep, use an alarm clock to wake yourself up at certain intervals through the night.
27) Watch the skies - An abductee would usually see a UFO many days prior to their abduction. Always be on the lookout.
28) Go into hiding on the 20th March - March 20th is Extraterrestrials Abductions Day!
29) Get a pet cat - Aliens despise cats and cats love aliens. What a perfect match!
30) Play dead - Aliens tend to pick live subjects for their abductions.
31) Report every UFO you see - The more people that know of their whereabouts, the more reluctant the aliens will be to abduct you.
32) Don't stand on rooftops - Let's face it, you're making it easier for them.
33) Never go to a trailer park - UFO sightings are frequent around these areas.
34) Don't talk to strangers - Aliens can masquerade as humans so be careful.
35) Live in a subterranean village - Aliens cannot survive underwater.
36) Avoid these places #1 - These are some of the many UFO hotspots in the USA.
37) Build a bunker - Not only does it prevent aliens from abducting you, bunkers also withstand tornadoes, attacks etc.
38) Create clones of yourself - Aliens won't know who to pick.
39) Animals can sense aliens - If you notice strange symptoms with your pet such as aggressive behaviour or involuntary urination, an alien or its spacecraft is nearby.
40) Don't listen to the radio - Aliens can tamper with the frequency.
41) Don't step on bugs - Aliens have an unusual vendetta against those who kill small bugs and insects.
42) Never be alone - Aliens rarely abduct two people at a time. The more people you are with, the safer you are.
43) Avoid creating banners declaring your love for aliens - Aliens have inverse emotions to humans. What we deem as love will be the opposite to them.
44) Migrate to Iceland - Iceland has the least reported UFO sightings out of any country in Europe.
45) Don't drive through the desert - The middle of nowhere is never a good place to be.
46) Go for a blood test - Studies show that aliens prefer humans with rarer blood types. If yours is rare, take extra precaution.
47) Don't live on a farm - Aliens have an unusual fetish for farm animals.
48) Don't grow your own crops - Aliens create crop circles to use a mapping system.
49) Abduct an alien - If they can do it, so can we.
50) Start an apocalypse - If the world is useless, they'll have no reason to come.
51) Avoid Area 51 - Area 51 is the home of all things alien. The warning signs are there for a reason.
52) Live in a densely populated area - Aliens won't even think about abducting you if there's a chance of being caught.
53) Reverse engineer a spacecraft - Exploit their technology and use it against them.
54) Never dress up as an alien - Aliens don't take kindly to being impersonated. The only exception to this is Rule #11.
55) Don't shower - Even aliens are repulsed by those who don't wash.
56) Aliens hate water - As portrayed in the film, Signs; it's their weakness.
57) Live in the south during winter - Birds tend to interfere with overhead spacerafts.
58) Construct a dummy of yourself - Aliens will believe it to be the real thing.
59) Carry a weapon at all times - Although we do not condone violence, desperate times call for desperate measures.
60) Avoid these places (UK) #2 - They are some of the many UFO hotspots in the UK.
61) Build a fort - Let's see them try to get past that.
62) Don't trust anyone - As stated in Rule #34, aliens can masquerade as humans.. even a family member could be one.
63) Constantly be on the move - Aliens prepare their abductions well in advance. However, you can be one step ahead.
64) Place crystals around your room - Crystals can change the aura of your surroundings and as a result, deters aliens from visiting.
65) Move to another planet - Earth will soon be plaqued with aliens. Note: not to scale.
66) Set up a camera near all forms of entry - This will deter aliens from entering.
67) Move to the coast - Subject to you not finding a home underwater #35, a place by the coast is an ideal substitute.
68) Switch off all electricity - Aliens can easily exploit our technology.
69) Become nocturnal - 93% of abductions happen at night so be prepared.
70) Never visit an empty car park - They are known to be one of the many alien hotspots.
71) Think bad thoughts about alien - They will feel too intimidated to abduct you.
72) Avoid these places (USA) #3 - They are some of the many UFO hotspots in the USA.
73) Eat lots of Kale - Aliens do not like green vegetables (particularly Kale). This is why they are often called "greys" as they never eat food containing Vitamin C or B-12.
74) Question your friends and family - If one of them has been abducted, there's a 98% chance you will be too.
75) Never investigate a crash landed meteor - It could be something far more sinister.
76) Take out abduction insurance - It's best to be prepared.
77) Stay near a place of sanctuary - Aliens won't abduct you if you're amongst others. i.e. move near a shopping centre or a school.
78) Become anonymous - Remove and destroy all forms of identity.
79) Refuse to eat - Once aboard the spaceship, aliens will try all forms of force feeding techniques to fatten you up.
80) Wear a suit - Not only will you look superior, you'll look suave too.
81) Don't go to Egypt - The aliens built their sacred pyramids.
82) Avoid making contact with the aliens - This will only make them more willing to abduct you.
83) Don't use a walkie talkie - Aliens can intercept the frequency and use it to track your whereabouts.
84) Avoid these places (UK) #4 - They are some of the many UFO hotspots in the UK.
85) Sing - They alien brain does not know how to process singing. They view it as some form of communication that they have yet to decode.
86) Almost everyone who works in a post office is an alien - This is evidence in Men in Black II (film).
87) Don't buy a mobile home - Owning a mobile home faces an inevitable abduction.
88) Play "Indian Love Call" by Slim Whitman - In the film, Mars Attacks!, it is suggested that this song is an aliens weakness.
89) Avoid cleaning your house - Aliens are allergic to dust.
90) Get accepted into MENSA - Aliens do not abduct smart people.
91) Never get in a taxi - 23% of all taxi drivers are aliens undercover. They use taxis to easily capture and transport an abductee.
92) Keep the heating on - Their home planets are much cooler than ours. Aliens will be unable to survive if the atmosphere is too warm.
93) Become a member of the INS division 6 - Also known as the MIB, it is a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices alien activity on planet earth.
94) Destroy everything that can be tracked - Aliens have been tracking us for years, it is better late than never.
95) Learn their language - There is no use trying to converse with aliens in a foreign language.
96) Believe in aliens - Stating you do not believe in aliens causes one to die. This only makes them more angry.
97) Buy a cargo van - They can be used to hold equipment to track overhead spacecrafts and aliens whilst on the road.
98) Become a social recluse - Shut off all forms of communication, hide in your room and never reveal yourself to the outside world.
99) Don't mock aliens - They hate being mocked.
100) Abduct an alien - If they can do it, so can we.
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